Alien Romance, the daily comic strip
Dec. 8th, 2025 08:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gs_silva
Yes, at this point, I'm amusing myself.
Ella and Maurice are in Ella's bedroom, talking privately while Cathy and Jon are in the living room. Maurice is in his work uniform, with a nametag that reads, "Moe." Yes, the manager at Liquor Warehouse diminishes my little guy further by shortening his name. He's okay, though! Maurice is used to enduring the slings and arrows of people pushing him down in life.
His nickname 'Arzy' is a diminutive, too, but only his friends call him that, and it's affectionate. Ren started that one and it caught on.
Ella says, "I want Cathy to like me. Everything I know about making friends is useless with her, 'cause it's all, like, conversational stuff. What else is there?"
"Honestly, Ella, you're doing fine," Maurice replies. "Don't give up. She's lonely too."
"How does Jon get along with her so well?" Ella asks.
"Easy," says Maurice, looking at the door. "Jon already doesn't listen to anybody. Cathy doesn't challenge him, and that's perfect for him."
"Heh," says Ella. "That's not wrong." She reaches for the doorknob to leave, and turns back. "So you think we're all right?"
"Yes, you're all right," says Maurice.
"Thanks so much, Arzy. I feel better now. I thought you were gonna say 'learn French' or something."
Maurice hesitates. "...well..." he says, and stops.
Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-09 03:31 am (UTC)Things you can do that don't necessarily require much if any talking:
* Cook something familiar, especially if it requires simple repetitive tasks like shelling peas or shucking corn.
* Arts and crafts.
* Walk or drive through a park to look at nature. Or sit somewhere and watch the sunset.
* Listen to instrumental music.
* Brush each other's hair, or paint fingernails, if you're both girly girls.
Amusingly tonight we went to a Mexican restaurant and ordered supper in a mishmash of English and Spanish. :D I was telling my parter Doug about your webcomic and the language barrier. We got the best Mexican dessert we've ever had: a tiny mango mousse cake, which had a crumb crust, a fluffy mousse layer, and a thin layer of mango gel and diced mango on top. <3 It's fun just exploring different things and words for them.
... also shopping at ethnic restaurants is a way to tell the mainstream where they can shove their bigotry.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-09 03:56 am (UTC)I have a tendency to have my characters act more mature and insightful than some people their age and time period. I was young back then, and I remember my friends thinking and saying astoundingly dumb things on a regular basis. Admittedly, sometimes they were high. I wasn't any better, although I wasn't necessarily high.
This storyline is my way at lovingly poking fun at people who certainly do exist, but who aren't you. Hang in there! Just like Ella, you're doing fine. Don't give up.
It's adorable how you keep giving Ella advice. I'll have to have her take some of it sometime. Just be warned - this comic is a slow burn. Sometimes things don't get around to happening until months later. One of my readers from way back had a real problem with that, and used to say horrible things to me just to get me to resolve stuff already. Finally she blocked me. And yet, I keep plodding along, reflecting my own personal experiences in my own way.
Your people skills are interesting! But fine. You've said a fair number of things that made me go "Hmmm." Different things than what Ella says. Sometimes you'll meet people in life who never astound you, who make sense right down to the finest detail. And sometimes you'll meet people who don't.
At the moment, the set of people I'm interacting with seem to be the type who astound me occasionally, and not many who reliably resonate with me. I think I have a need to vent. How else can I cope?
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-09 09:19 am (UTC)That's good.
>>I have a tendency to have my characters act more mature and insightful than some people their age and time period.<<
Totally fine. Me, I've always been ahead of the curve on a lot of things, and so are many of my friends. Other stuff, not so much. People vary.
>> I was young back then, and I remember my friends thinking and saying astoundingly dumb things on a regular basis. Admittedly, sometimes they were high. I wasn't any better, although I wasn't necessarily high.<<
*chuckle*
>>This storyline is my way at lovingly poking fun at people who certainly do exist, but who aren't you. Hang in there! Just like Ella, you're doing fine. Don't give up.<<
Fair enough.
>>It's adorable how you keep giving Ella advice. I'll have to have her take some of it sometime.<<
I'm used to talking with other creative friends, sometimes back and forth in shared worlds, where conversations can spark new stories, poems, art, or whatever. I've even seen my fans get into a long conversation on the Poetry Fishbowl with each other.
>> Just be warned - this comic is a slow burn. Sometimes things don't get around to happening until months later.<<
Totally fine.
>> One of my readers from way back had a real problem with that, and used to say horrible things to me just to get me to resolve stuff already. Finally she blocked me.<<
That sucks. It's okay to like or dislike things, but trying to make a creator change them when you're not paying for that privilege is a dick move.
>> And yet, I keep plodding along, reflecting my own personal experiences in my own way.<<
Go you.
What you're writing does come from the personal, but it has wider applications. Think about how much more mixed societies are now than several decades ago. The questions about how you navigate a culture where you don't speak the main language, or how you interact with a friend when you have little language in common -- those are experiences more people are having. Thinking about that while reading a comic may help people not be a total asshole to a waitress who doesn't speak their language well. That matters.
>>Your people skills are interesting! But fine. You've said a fair number of things that made me go "Hmmm." Different things than what Ella says. <<
Well, I'm an introvert, so some of the ways I interact with people are not necessarily linguistic even though I'm a word person.
>>Sometimes you'll meet people in life who never astound you, who make sense right down to the finest detail. And sometimes you'll meet people who don't.<<
I like people I resonate with, but I also like to have enough different interests that we can tip each other to new things.
>>At the moment, the set of people I'm interacting with seem to be the type who astound me occasionally, and not many who reliably resonate with me.<<
Occasional astounding can be good, but a lack of resonance gets lonely. One of my quirks is that I don't feel lonely when I'm by myself, only when I'm with the wrong people doing the wrong things.
>> I think I have a need to vent. How else can I cope? <<
Sooth. Art and writing are good for that, as is talking with friends. I've actually got a whole series, Arts and Crafts America, that largely consists of "Character has a problem and uses art to solve it."
Some of my writing is a flat-out response to "What the fuck were they thinking?" news events. The whole Rutledge thread began with reading about how a Vermont town totally cocked up a plan to invite immigrants. What would it look like if someone did that right? "Say It Loud" was a response to a TV show that I found unbearable.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-09 12:36 pm (UTC)I have another friend who read a little and then complained, "I don't understand it!" It took me a while to realize that he actually identified too much with Maurice, and perceived Maurice as a perpetual loser. I couldn't convince him otherwise. Maurice is the adult in the room, the one who pulls things together even when they feel impossible, but he takes a few blows and he's struggling internally.
I mean, geez, he's only 22 here, and when the story begins, he's only had two life experiences: being the only POC in a small community, and failing at college.
But my friend stands fast on his POV. Nuthin' I can do.
I thought you were approaching it more like them (and was puzzled because I see your own writing and it covers SO much ground and I couldn't see how the ground I cover would be problematic) and I'm relieved to be reassured that you're not trying to change it after all.
I have had friends who were eager to discuss my saga and theirs, at great length. And I love crossovers! I've done a few really fun ones! I'll just have to get used to your style. It's different from what I've seen before. Very aggressive at times. Very helpful at others. I especially love the anecdotes you share to show similar experiences. The lecture-y ones, though... I feel like I'm in a minefield. "Don't step on a lecture!" "But how can I tell where the triggers are?" "You can't!"
I hope you're laughing at that and not offended. It's objectively funny. :)
Also it might add some context to how I respond to you. I'll try to do more back-and-forth with your fun ideas (shucking corn, hehe, both Ella and Cathy would have to be taught how to shuck corn! Ren would do that) and it would help if I don't have to worry about triggering a lecture.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-10 02:04 am (UTC)Nope, it's your story and art, I'm not buying it for a magazine or whatever, so what I say is feedback not direction. Most creative folks I know use feedback as fuel so I'm used to expressing my interest that way.
>>It took me a while to realize that he actually identified too much with Maurice, and perceived Maurice as a perpetual loser. <<
Ah, yeah.
>> Maurice is the adult in the room, the one who pulls things together even when they feel impossible, but he takes a few blows and he's struggling internally.<<
That's the impression I get.
>>I'm relieved to be reassured that you're not trying to change it after all.<<
Not trying to change it. Your story makes me think about things and that's good. It's engaging.
>>And I love crossovers! I've done a few really fun ones!<<
I have a few settings that are actually designed for crossovers but not so much for real-world stuff. I've only got one real-world series and that's lesbian romance.
>>I especially love the anecdotes you share to show similar experiences.<<
Yay!
>> The lecture-y ones, though... I feel like I'm in a minefield. <<
Not the impression I want to give. Okay, you're the only webcomic I'm reading on DW so it might actually stick enough for me to remember changes. What reads as lecture to you? Length? Details? Links? I can at least try to reduce the amount of it.
>>I hope you're laughing at that and not offended. It's objectively funny. :)
Not offended, but I don't want to write comments that make you anxious or annoyed. Feedback should be fun. And cutting down to "My favorite line is X" is probably a bit too far.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-10 03:29 pm (UTC)I'm flattered by the amount of time you spend giving me feedback. and now I can make better use of it, instead of gawking at it, overwhelmed, like I had been doing.
Where it veers over into 'lecture' is a matter of both length and tone, I think. Sometimes you state things as fact, which is fine, and when those things are brief, they come off as insightful observations, which is delightful! But if the topic is especially simplistic, I start wondering if you think I was born yesterday, and if they're simplistic and long, they get to be too much. (This hardly ever happens over here on my comic; it's common when I leave comments on yours or others', however.) And then once or twice it happened two days in a row, and I wondered, was I born yesterday AGAIN? How is that even possible? Reincarnation doesn't work that fast!
But let's try it with my fresh new perspective, and it'll probably all go better.
One of the reasons I'm sensitive to being over-lectured to, especially on simplistic topics, is that I'm the primary caregiver for someone who used to be an authority figure in my life, and is now going through a second childhood in the very worst way. Alzheimer's is horrible. No matter how well taken care of she is, it makes even the best circumstances horrible. I've become viciously protective of my boundaries, and everyone who's used to me being as soft as water is struggling to cope, and not all doing very well. But let's see them spend an hour in my life!
I think a tangible thing you can do to check my boundaries is to think about whether I might already know about a topic. I'm about your age, and I'm American, and so our life experiences have coincided in ways that those factors would suggest. I don't know all the ways. And I love to learn new things, and you love to teach, so that suggests that if only we can become comfortable with each other's vibes, we'll do wonderfully together! We're just getting a rough start.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-10 10:34 pm (UTC)\o/
>>I was doing us both a disservice by comparing you to other people who have read my comic in the past. You aren't them.<<
Yeah, other people are a very poor predictor for me in most regards.
>>I'm flattered by the amount of time you spend giving me feedback. <<
Yay!
>>and now I can make better use of it, instead of gawking at it, overwhelmed, like I had been doing.<<
Honestly, you don't even owe me a reply, although it's fun to talk about the work when you do.
>>Where it veers over into 'lecture' is a matter of both length and tone, I think. <<
I can try to cut down on length. But if you want to know how I got this way on discussions? Once in a while under a poem of mine, the discussion will run 50-100 comments.
>>But if the topic is especially simplistic, I start wondering if you think I was born yesterday, and if they're simplistic and long, they get to be too much.<<
I'll try to remember that, though it may take some practice. And I got this habit because my audience includes a lot of people who are missing different big chunks of what is usually considered "common knowledge" -- including but not limited to:
* abuse survivors who didn't get much actual raising
* foster survivors with patchy school and family experience
* asexuals who need sexual innuendo explained
* folks who live in other countries
* readers for whom English is their second, fourth, or later language
Plus the academics who occasionally ask for more citations, and the many-many people who ask for recipe links, and it kinda ... grew. Thing is, the positive:negative response rate to my end notes is about 19:1.
>> One of the reasons I'm sensitive to being over-lectured to, especially on simplistic topics, is that I'm the primary caregiver for someone who used to be an authority figure in my life, and is now going through a second childhood in the very worst way.<<
Ouch.
>> Alzheimer's is horrible.<<
Yeah, I've lost relatives to that.
It's fine to ignore anything in my comments that you don't have the energy to deal with, and if I step on a sore subject you can just remind me.
>> I've become viciously protective of my boundaries <<
That's what you need to survive. My sympathies.
>>I think a tangible thing you can do to check my boundaries is to think about whether I might already know about a topic.<<
I'll try.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-12-10 10:39 pm (UTC)